Sick of This

I’m sick of this. I’m sick of having to cry just to be heard. I’m sick of being mistaken for liking someone because I’m too nice. I’m sick of being told to help around the house because I’m female. I’m sick of being called a tomboy for actually being interested in “guy” stuff. I’m sick of the gender inequality still possessing society.

I’m sick of being asked if or when I’ll have a boyfriend. Doesn’t every female want to live the bachelorette life while they still can? It’s pure delusion to think a woman needs a man to take care of her when she can take care of herself. I’m sick of it.

I’m not saying this because I want to. I’m saying this because I have to. I have to roll my eyes at every conversation about my sister’s conquests or pretend that I’m interested. I’m not.

Honey, I know I’m taking notes. It’s to tell the musician that I’m proud of him even though he doesn’t want to hear from me. He’s a piece of sh*t that way. It’s to tell the actor that he’s right because that’s what he wanted to hear. I’m sick of the same damn routine of telling the boy what he wanted to hear from me. I guess, boys will be boys until a woman walks all over his masculinity.

That’s what I did but they damned me as the villain. When will society learn? I guess, never.

I’m the romantic lead. I’m a ’95 neo-noir movie. I’m the detective. I’m a song. I’m a musical.

In ten years time, I’ll be thirty-four still living my best life. I see a London boy older than I. (It’s a trend.) He could tell I’ve forgotten about what I’ve been through and what I’m sick of. I could tell he’s forgotten about how she broke his heart all those summers ago. He’s a self-proclaimed feminist who believes in equality in the workplace. Sometimes, he’ll be a trickster when I least expect it. He thinks it’s funny. “Jesus Christ!” I could hear myself exclaim.

He’d take me backstage of a theater to meet his cast mates. We’ll be watching a film from his film collection. The old ones that I like. Exchanging dirty jokes? Sure, we’ll do that too.

If people dream, let a girl dream. She deserves to get stuck in a day dream.

xo

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